Francis Weller on the Five Gates of Grief
Malidoma Somé on Grief and Ritual
:: From Lotan Sapir ::
A year ago I experienced for the first time a “grieving ceremony” with Adi - avigail, guided by Maria Owl in California. It was an experience that happened after the war in Israel and Gaza.
I came into it held, there was a pain that was in me which was contained and protected. When I was in before this ritual, the word grief was very present for me, a feeling that there is so much loss and pain inside and out, that observing reality was filtered through the eyes of that emotional baggage which I simply didn't know how to work with or face.
The idea of being strong, to hold on to my tears, “yes, its tough, deal with it” wasn't easy. I would cry alone until it became too much. I noticed that I did not have one space where I can be held, a space where i can unlearn this defense mechanism and cry and truly feel what is happening in order to really see clearly forward. I saw that i actually don't know how to meet grief, meeting an emotion that wants to move through me, fully. It's like the past walking into the present daily.
And so it was, the space was created, mantra, drumming, prayers, alter with pillows to lean on. I sat playing the drum so loud, confident in my place in this community. In awe of what I'm seeing in front of my eyes - an intentional space that is created just for this?! Just to be in this space is so precious. From the feeling of protecting myself, a relaxation and trust came through me - The space, the community, the being seen - did its work, I discovered I know how to cry, not for anything particular, but because it's a part of my nature, a fountain of life pouring itself through me to the earth, cleaning. The next day, i felt alive. A feeling of healthiness. A feeling that water poured on all those scars and i have been given nutrition. A feeling of grounded Joy.
The amount of losses that happen in the middle east, the amount of pain and grief that gets carried in our bodies are immense, they are so ancient, carried from our ancestors and still played out everywhere and its not met fully therefor gets transformed into anger, rage, disbelief, Depression, Disconnection, illness.
I feel that bringing the grieving ceremony to Israel is deeply important. To clean ourselves so we can walk forward through these times.
In Love, In Peace
Lotan
Community Grief Ritual Testimonies
:: From Avigail ::
For me crying and expressing emotions was always a natural way to find balance, to understand what is happening inside me, and to better align myself with my purpose and deep needs.
I participated in a grief ritual with Maria and Lotan during a workshop in San Francisco. What I experienced was amazingly profound. Being in a space together with many loving and supportive people and allowed to express any emotion without inhibition was deeply cleansing and relieving. I just sat at the altar and cried, and screamed, and mourned. I didn’t have words for these feeling, I wasn’t sure where they were coming from, but I knew they waited a long time to be let out. I felt like a black lake was washing out of me and white light was entering me, cleaning and clearing every pore in my body.
The grief ritual is built in such a way that you feel supported and contained, a safe space. There is no pressure to feel this way or that, to behave in a certain way, or to say the right thing. You can just listen to your inner voice, to your emotional waves, and just let them be. It’s a liberating feeling. I can say for myself that for many years my personal pain and fear turned into anger and rage, to an exhaustion and skepticism. It took me time to see the connection, the link, between our sadness, grief, weakness, pain, and our anger, resentment, depression and dullness.
After the grief ritual I had a deep dreamless sleep and in the morning I felt completely empty. An emptiness that was light and full of joy. In Israel, a war torn land, it is very challenging to let the emotions of fear, pain and grief take their natural course. Many times I am overwhelmed by the survival instinct- to fight, be strong, be right, hide my weakness, hide my pain, to shut down- this is how the cycle works. We are all living here in fear, in a desire to survive, to be strong. I feel that the Grieving Ceremony will help to start letting go of our shields, to let our hearts relax open, to allow for a new course to show it’s way.
In peace, love and truth,
Avigail
כתבות מאמרים וקישורים
Martin Pretchel on grief and praise
היכרותי עם מריה החלה לפני מספר שנים כאשר יצאתי למסע של עשרה ימים של וויזן קווסט בהנחייתה. לאחר מכן גם בחרתי להצטרף ולחוות את טקסי האבלות שהיא מעבירה.
מריה היא הילרית, מורה, מנחה ואישה בעלת עוצמות ועומקים מדהימים. היכולת שלה להתחבר לרוח בעודה עומדת עם שתי רגליים על הקרקע גבוהה ביותר. מריה יודעת לפגוש כל אינדיבידואל עם הרבה כנות, חום ואיכפתיות בעודה עוזרת להעמיק את התהליך האישי של כל אחד ואחד מחברי הקבוצה. האופן שבו היא מחזיקה את הקבוצה כולה כיחידה אחת, משרה הרגשה של ביטחון ולכידות שאין חשוב ממנו בסוג של עבודה שכזו בה את/ה רוצה להרגיש חופשי/יה לתת ביטוי לכל הרגשות שרוצים להעלות ולצאת החוצה.
שתי החוויות השונות (הוויזן קווסט וטקסי האבלות) היוו חלק מאוד משמעותי מהתהליך ההילינג האישי שלי ושל דורות משפחתי שהגיעו לפניי ויבואו אחרי. טקס האבלות אפשר לי להרגיש ולקבל תמיכה מהקהילה לעשות עבודה מעמיקה על הטראומות והכאב האישי שלי ועל הטראומה הבין-דורית שאני מכילה בתוכי. אני ממליצה בכל ליבי לכל אחד ואחת להצטרף ולחוות את העבודה הכה מבורכת הזו בהנחייתה של מריה!!!
- מיכל מטר